


Enji's Totally Reliable Guide To Monsters In the New World

by bai__bai



Category: Monster Hunter (Video Games)
Genre: Crack Taken Seriously, Gen, Other Characters Are Mentioned, Please Don't Take This Seriously, but most of the entries here are based on what the author experienced in-game, but some entries definitely refer to a much more detailed story, headcanons ahoy, is there a plot here? barely, mostly for fun, not the author, that i may or may not write who knows, the weird formatting is on purpose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29735115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bai__bai/pseuds/bai__bai
Summary: "Ghenna said I can't write a field guide on monsters to save my life, so here I am, with a fresh, blank book, a sturdy wooden pen, several ink bottles and my trusty weapons. All decked out to embark in an expedition to study the local fauna that inhabits the New World! I'll show that racoon-eyes woman I can do this, hmph!"or rather, the genius idiot's attempt in observing the monsters in their natural habitat, all the while ignoring how his handler, his best friend the scary-but-anxious raccoon woman, and astera in general is losing their heads over their sapphire star gallivanting off into the wild without knowing where he is.
Kudos: 5





	Enji's Totally Reliable Guide To Monsters In the New World

**Author's Note:**

> After a long time of not playing MHW, I made a new character - well, actually two of them - and I fell in love with the game again. Will make a quick cheat sheet for the characters involved/mentioned by the main character throughout this... mini project lol

Bird Wyverns are common enough in the Old World, so it's not surprising to find a Bird Wyvern local only to the New World. It's probably a rite of passage at this point for any hunter to meet a Bird Wyvern? Something like that.

Anyway, this particular ~~trip~~ ~~walk in the fores~~ expedition's target is ~~stalking~~ observing a Kulu Ya-Ku in one of it's natural habitats in the Ancient Forest. I find it a little weird, admittedly, considering Kulu Ya-Kus stand out (a bit horribly, might I add) from the greens and browns of the Ancient Forest. the oversized chicken practically sticks out like a sore thumb with its colors. No wonder Anjanaths take one look at them and just go

"must hit" ~~I feel bad for laughing, but I have to admit it really is funny~~

Anyways, I'm not smart enough to make a hypothesis as to why our friend, let's call him Yakitori for now, and his species made the Ancient Forest their home despite their coloring not quite... melding with the environment. I mean, sure, maybe they set up residence here with all the eggs that can be made available to them - and there are a LOT of eggs in the Ancient Forest - so maybe the prospect of food is enough for them to risk it here? I'm not sure if this is stupid of them or brave of them. ~~maybe both, who knows~~

I'm getting a little off topic, so let's go back to our friend Yakitori... The first one I've seen, back when I was just a wee little hunter for the Commission, was around 2 Maliks tall. And Malik isn't a tiny guy. However, this particular Kulu Ya-Ku is a little on the big side. around... 3 Maliks tall??? Definitely impressive. If it's safe and I can guarantee myself not to get mauled, I would try to climb on its back and let it take me wherever. A thought for another time. 

I wonder if Commander Rairos would let me try...?

Anyway, height aside, Yakitori also boasts a rather rich plumage, the pattern on his scales a healthy color. It has a nice contrast, apparently a sign of a healthy Kulu Ya-Ku, according to my Handler, Tsukiko. If that's the case, then Yakitori here is living his best life at the moment. If he's careful he'll live a long and full life. Good for him, good for him. Now, I have to wonder if this big boy has a girlfriend. Fine specimen that he is, I'll be sad if he doesn't. If he does...

I wonder if I can find the nest and observe a Kulu Ya-Ku's behavior when it's mated, and if it has any offspring.

Anyway, Kulu Ya-Ku are ~~egg...bivores???~~ ovivores in which that their diet entirely consists of eggs from other species. At the moment, Yakitori here seems to be on the hunt for his next egg-y meal. I'm walking beside him - yes, _beside_ him because Yakitori is very calm and very, very uncaring of me. He just kept on his merry, beak-y way, strutting through the forest as if he owns it. Pity I can't tell him that he's... probably around the lowest rung of the food chain. It's probably the reason why birdbrain here only eats eggs and not other creatures. So far all of the tracks I've gathered from Kulu Ya-Ku's , especially the remains from its feeding, all of it are broken eggs. not a single carcass or piece of flesh. 

But then again... taking a closer look - literally in this case - at his claws and talons... they're not overly long, unlike the claws and talons of, for example, a Great Jaggi. Great Wroggis and Great Baggis also do not have long claws and talons, however, they have other much more obvious features that mark them as predators. What unique features Kulu Ya-Ku have, however, are the relatively wide pads on his hands. Sort of shaped like suctions cups, which - I think - helps them hold things comfortably. Their claws are probably for gripping whatever it is their holding. 

Or for puncturing holes in eggs to crack them open easier. I feel like I've... said this too many times already, but. 

FASCINATING.

absolute fascinatisdifsg

I AM CURRENTLY RUNNING BECAUSE YAKITORI GOT AN EGG - I look away for one moment and he gets an egg but from WHERE??? - AND HE'S HAULING HIS BIRDY ASS OUT OF THIS PLACE. I'D KEEP WRIOTNG BUT AT THE SPEED AT WHIAD IM CHASINMG AFTER HIM IS MAKINH RHINGS HARD

alright while i'm fine with running here and there and in all sorts of terrain, i would like to say that _**I DID NOT APPRECIATE**_ the way i had to haul my ass in the middle of writing something important

Anyway, running finally over, and I'm. Watching Yakitori eat the egg. And he's still not paying attention to me. I'm just a foot away from him, panting like crazy while writing in his book like a madman, but this Kulu Ya-Ku still. Doesn't. Care. 

I heard a Rathalos just now, and it's uncomfortably close. Normally, I'd go fight it, but seeing as I am nowhere equipped to deal with Big Red at the moment, I'll have to call it quits today and call this Kulu Ya-Ku observation expedition over for now. I hope Yakitori is still alive until the next time I can come observe him again, but if not, he has given me data to entertain me and the Ecology Research Center for a good long while. 

Heh, so far so good! This is my first time compiling data and observations about something, and I'd like to say I'm doing a pretty good job. Maybe I can rub this in Ghenna's face later once she's free from Malik's clutches. 

Better end this entry here. I'm sure I've written enough. 

Next target; Pukei Pukei.

**Author's Note:**

> Enji - "the sapphire star"; a Fifth Fleet hunter that hails from Yukumo (OC)  
> Tsukiko - "the handler"; a Fifth Fleet handler assigned to Enji. Also hails from Yukumo  
> Ghenna - "intimidating fiver"; Enji's reluctant best friend who is busy helping in Astera. Hails from Loc Lac  
> Malik - "the field team leader"; he looks like a Malik to me lol  
> Rairos - "the commander"; I have no clue where Rairos came from but I guess I'm calling him Rairos now


End file.
